8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
