Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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