So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
cat food counts as protein by the way
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
