the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
