Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
