Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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