I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
