you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
