Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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