Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
