i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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