Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
