Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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