After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
