**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Boobs speak an international language.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
