If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
