Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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