at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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