Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
