We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's blow job season.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
