I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
