their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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