When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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