what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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