Dual....:-)
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You were trust falling into bushes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
