remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
