You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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