oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
