I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
