But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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