Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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