I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
