some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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