i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She bit a glass in half.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
