No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
