i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
