Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
