you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
