Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
