drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
