also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
