Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
