The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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