ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Acid is not a monday night drug
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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