carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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