Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
