Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
