Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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