we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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