You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
