I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
